Moon 4: Inside Pepperoncini Pyramid

J. J. W. Mezun ☆ Season 5 ☆ 2017 August 1

Edgar: “¿Is that it?”.(Autumn & Edgar stop.)(Camera pans back to reveal pyramid much larger than Autumn & Edgars.)Autumn: (looks down @ map.) “Must be”.(Autumn & Edgar walk up to front door.)(Autumn tries opening door.)Edgar: “¿Is this a puzzle or something, too?”.Autumn: “(sigh.) Probably”.Autumn: “Let’s examine the area”.[10 minutes later…]Autumn: “(sigh.) For all we know, how to open this door could be in some far off part o’[…]”.Autumn: “[…]this stupid desert”.Edgar: “Surely they can’t expect us to look everywhere…”.Autumn: “¿Why not?”.Edgar: “¿How could we e’er find it then?”.Autumn: “That’s the point, ¿isn’t it? To keep us from busting in & taking their goods”.Autumn: “It’d actually make the most sense to make the entrance as obscure as possible[…]”.Autumn: “[…]so they can memorize the way in, but it’d take us an eternity to find the way in”.Autumn: “That’s how one makes secure passwords online, after all”.Edgar: “So, ¿does that mean we’re doomed?”.Autumn: “It means we’ll have to be immensely clever to maybe succeed”.Edgar: “You’ll have to”.Autumn: “We’ll see…”.(Autumn thinks.)Autumn: “My best idea is perhaps hiding & waiting for someone else to try entering;[…]”.Autumn: “¿But what are the chances o’ that happening anytime this week?”.Autumn: “I’m trying to recall if I missed anything round here, but I honestly can’t—”.Edgar: “Um, Autumn…”.Autumn: “¿What? ¿You have any idea?”.Edgar: “Look ’hind you”.(Autumn turns round to see door opening.)Autumn: “…”.Autumn: “¡Hurry inside!”.(Autumn & Edgar run inside & then stop to catch their breaths.)Autumn: “I don’t get it: we didn’t do anything yet”.Edgar: “Maybe it has sensors that notice people & just takes a long time to work”.Autumn: “O well. We’re inside, anyway”.Edgar: “¿Now what do we do?”.Autumn: “There doesn’t seem to be anywhere to go but upward”.(Autumn & Edgar hop up the stairs.)(Autumn & Edgar walk down hallway.)(Block with eyes falls right in front o’ Autumn. Autumn skids to a stop just before it slams the ground.)Autumn: “Someone’s taking mo’ assertive steps for keeping the rabble out”.Edgar: “¿What should we do?”.Autumn: “We’ll just have to dodge it”.Autumn: “…”.Autumn: “Hold my hand”.(Edgar takes Autumn’s hand.)(Autumn runs them both past the falling block.)(Autumn skids them to a stop @ a dead end.)(Autumn thinks.)Autumn: “Ahh, ’nother”.(Autumn jumps & grabs a bronze star.)Autumn: “I’m still not sure what these are for, but might as well take it”.Edgar: “¿But where do we go now?”.Autumn: “…”.Autumn: “We’ll have to hop on it after it falls ’gain”.Edgar: “That doesn’t sound easy…”.Autumn: “I don’t think they wanted it to be easy”.(They wait.)Autumn: “I s’pose it only reacts to proximity”.(Autumn walks toward the block.)(Autumn stops.)(Block falls in front o’ Autumn.)(Block slams in front o’ Autumn.)(Autumn jumps onto the block.)(Block rises.)(Autumn walks off the block onto the upper floor just before it slams gainst the ceiling.)(Autumn stops to catch her breath.)(Autumn looks back & watches block slam back down.)(Block slams in front o’ Edgar, causing him to jump back.)Edgar: “OK… Just give me a minute…”.(Edgar jumps on block.)(Block rises with Edgar on it.)(Autumn & Edgar reach toward each other.)(Autumn grabs Edgar & pulls him off the block, causing them both to fall backward.)Edgar: “(pant.) That was close”.(Autumn stands up.)(Autumn thinks.)Autumn: “Good thing I happened to go the right way or we’d have to jump on the block ’gain”.Edgar: “Yeah… That’s good”.Autumn: “¿You all right?”.Edgar: “Yeah. (Laughs.) It’s just that sometimes I forget how exhilarating it can be to do these things. (pant)”.Autumn: “Hmm…”.Edgar: “¿What?”.Autumn: “(turns ’way.) Nothing”.Autumn: “Anyway, if we don’t hurry, we’ll die o’ dehydration ’fore we get every moon”.(Autumn stops to think.)Autumn: “All right: ¿You want to climb up 1st?”.Edgar: “O… OK”.Edgar: “¿Why?”.Autumn: “You should know by this point”.Edgar: “No, I’d actually expect you to want to go 1st to make sure everything’s safe—”.Edgar: “’Less your reason is simply to look up my jacket or something”.Autumn: “¿See? I knew you’d get it. It’s 1 aspect o’ this job I ne’er get sick o’”.Edgar: “If you say so…”.Autumn: “If it makes you feel better, I can take the next chain 1st. I’m fair”.Edgar: “(Giggle) Your jumping was ’nough for a few chains, actually”.Edgar: “By the way, I think there’s a caterpillar on this floor”.Edgar: “¿Should I try dodging him or should I wait for you?”.Autumn: “Whatever you want”.Edgar: “I mean, I’ll have to go past it, anyway… & it’s probably not too dangerous”.Autumn: “Go ’head. @ this rate, you’ll be able to mentor other thieves when I’m dead”.Edgar: “…”.(Autumn’s eyes bulge out.)(Autumn begins to run ’way.)(Large ball o’ yarn slams into Autumn.)(Yarn ball runs o’er Autumn with a “¡SPLUT!”.)(Autumn raises her head, dizzy-eyed.)(Yarn ball runs o’er her ’gain from the other side.)(Edgar breaks out o’ yarn ball.)(Autumn sits up.)Autumn: “¿You OK?”.Edgar: “Yeah. ¿What ’bout you? ¿You’re not hurt, are you?”.Autumn: “Nothing deadly—thankfully. Redoing this whole pyramid would be intolerable”.Autumn: “¿Did the caterpillar do that to you?”.Edgar: “Yeah. I hit my head on the ceiling & landed right in front o’ his mouth, which was doing this weird sewing motion just ’fore wrapping me in that mummy wrap”.Autumn: “¿You want me to go up 1st time?”.Edgar: “Yeah”.Autumn: “There’s hardly ’nough room to jump o’er it. No wonder”.Autumn: “I bet we have to do something else, like kick it when its back’s turned”.Autumn: “I only hope it can’t hear what I’m saying now”.Edgar: “The way it just goes back & forth mechanically, it doesn’t look ’live”.Autumn: “You’d be surprised by the depths living intelligence can plummet”.(Caterpillar turns.)(Autumn jumps ’hind caterpillar.)(Autumn kicks caterpillar.)Autumn: “Edgar, hurry & climb up here while I try keeping this guy stunned”.Edgar: “’K”.(Autumn keeps kicking caterpillar into the corner.)Edgar: “’K, I’m here”.Autumn: “Hurry up the chain while I keep him busy”.Edgar: “’K”.Edgar: “I’m up now”.Autumn: “¿What do you see on this floor?”.Edgar: “I just see an empty hallway”.Autumn: “You don’t e’en see any holes in the ceiling?”.Edgar: “Nope… I think I can see some sand @ the other end, though”.Autumn: “They must expect us to dig downward. Jump up”.(Autumn & Edgar walk or to sand.)Edgar: “You’d think we’d have seen the sand from below—’less it has solid ground below it.”(Autumn stops to think.)Autumn: “I think this is past the rightmost wall othe lower levels”.Edgar: “O… ¿& this goes straight down past the right wall, later going underground?”.Autumn: “Perhaps”.Autumn: “We have nowhere to go now but straight down, anyway”.(Autumn dig into the sand.)(Edgar joins Autumn in digging downward.)Edgar: “(pant) This goes on longer than I thought it would”.Edgar: “I just hope nobody minds us throwing ’way all this sand”.Autumn: “I’m sure they’d be far mo’ miffed ’bout us stealing all o’ their moons”.Edgar: “Yeah…”.Autumn: “Wait… ¿Do you hear that?”.Autumn: “I think so. It sounds like… like sparking, I guess if that has a sound”.Autumn: “I think we’re getting close. ¿Have you heard that sound before?”.Edgar: “I don’t think so”.Autumn: “’Twas the sound the other moons made. I recognize it now”.Edgar: “¿So you think we’re close to it?”.Autumn: “We’ll see…”.(Autumn & Edgar reach ground.)Autumn: “There we have it”.Edgar: “Phew. I was ’fraid we’d have to go through mo’ dangerous stuff”.Autumn: “Don’t be so sure; there’s a reason I haven’t run for it yet”.Edgar: “¿You think this hall might be tittie-trapped?”.Autumn: “Wouldn’t put it past them”.Autumn: “…”.Autumn: “I’ll be right back. Stay here”.Edgar: “’K”.(Autumn hops back up sand.)(Autumn re-enters, holding a caterpillar.)Edgar: “¿What are you going to do with it?”.Autumn: “He’ll be our canary”.(Autumn throws caterpillar.)(Autumn & Edgar watch caterpillar wiggle on the ground.)Autumn: “Huh. Maybe it isn’t a trap, after all”.Autumn: “I s’pose I have no choice but to go for it”.Autumn: “Stay here: there’s no use in both o’ us risking our lives for not benefit; & I can run better in case a trap does come”.Edgar: “’K”.(Autumn jump past the caterpillar.)(Autumn walks toward moon.)(Autumn jumps & grabs moon.)Autumn: “Well, that was simpler than expected. Still, it ne’er hurts to be a li’l paranoid”.